


Perception and reality are two different things

by Tabata



Series: Leoverse [320]
Category: Glee
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 07:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30018360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabata/pseuds/Tabata
Summary: Cody reveals a little of his past
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Leoverse [320]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/30541





	Perception and reality are two different things

**Author's Note:**

> written for: Cow-t #11  
> prompt: Il farmacista, by Max Gazzè (Te le ho create io, ma in nome della scienza/Per quella tua tendenza alla rigidità/(...) E un pizzico di Secobarbital)

The first time Cody didn't notice, and to be honest he didn't notice the times that followed either. If he should determine when it started, he wouldn't know when it was. He wants to believe that it wasn't too early in their relationship that William begun to spike his drinks. But, then again, what would be worse? That he slipped drugs in his drinks right from the start or that at some point, maybe after a few months they were together, he thought it'd be fun to add that little twist to their nights?

It was Cody's fault, obviously, if he didn't notice before, because William never really hid what he was doing, not in the way someone would if he didn't want to get caught. But William was not scared of that, because he knew Cody would have never reported him. It seems impossible now – or at least Cody knows that it should seem impossible, but he's still struggling with the idea of openly accusing him – but no matter how hurt he was or how scared he felt, the thought of reporting William to the police would never cross his mind. And William knew that very well, as he knew everything about him really, and so he would do everything out in the open. 

Cody never really saw the little bottle of drugs – that is what he imagines it was, a little glass bottle with pills or drops inside – but William would always insist on him drinking a glass of water before they went to bed, and right after that Cody would feel extremely relaxed, like he normally never was, and a bit drunk, even if he hadn't been allowed to drink anything that night. The cause-effect was evident, Cody's mind had always just refused to connect the dots.

And then towards the end, a couple of months before William decided he had had enough of him, he was very straightforward about it. Despite knowing he was going to leave him, or maybe because of that, he started to tell him what was inside the glass he was offering. He never really used the correct word – secobarbital – but he would say that it was something to make him feel good, or relaxed, or if he was being mean, something that would make him _less rigid_. And Cody would drink anyway. Partly because he had already known for months that the water was spiked and partly because he refused to acknowledge the fact that the whole thing was really bad.

In fact, it wasn't that bad at all compared to the public humiliation, to be tied to a bed and used for days, to be randomly refused water or food, to be insulted or hurt, or forced to do things he didn't want to do after being trained for months to get pleasure out of them anyway. Being drugged and feeling nothing bad during sex? That seemed nice.

Even now that he _knows_ it was bad, his mind can't really process the event as a bad thing. He's being told that this fracture between what he knows and what he feels is normal – apparently his knowledge of certain things and his perception of them need time to realign – but it's hard to really believe that. The thing he's struggling most with these days is to trust the people around him that tell him to trust them. How is this different than what he did with William? Didn't he ask to be trusted too?

“Cody?” The doctor – _his_ doctor, he must remember that he has one now – calls him softly and he turns to look at the man sitting on his comfortable armchair. “You spaced out again. Where did you go?”

Cody shakes his head. “Nowhere,” he mumbles.

“Don't you want to answer my question?”

Cody doesn't remember what the question was anymore and he starts panicking. The old feeling of having failed to do something easy creeping in, turning his skin to ice. Even if he knows, rationally, that nothing can happen to him in this office, he's still scared that it will. The doctor must see the signs of it on his face because he says, “I just wanted to know if you remember when the glass of water routine started.”

“I don't want to talk about it.” 

Those are magic words. It is the real true power he gained after losing William and he's wielding it as much as he can these days. 

The doctor sighs, but he doesn't insist. “Alright, let's talk about something else, then.”

Cody knows he's nodding but it's like watching someone else doing it. They keep telling him this is normal too, and he can do nothing but trust them.


End file.
